Okay, here is a pic of the, uh, toilet on the train:

I love train travel, especially in Europe.  Taking an overnight train not only saves you money on a hotel room but also doesn’t waste a day of travel.    I wanted to experience train travel in Thailand so I booked an overnight train from Bangkok to Chiang Mai.  The first class sleeper is only about 5 dollars more than second class, so made sense.  In addition to first and second class sleeper, there is also just seating.  In all, three classes.  First class is a shared compartment (unless you pay for both berths).  My cabin-mate, Jean-Claude, is originally from France, now in New Caledonia.  His english was pretty decent, although he didn’t think so.  One thing that translated very well.  A phrase I would love to say someday (and not have it be forced unemployment), “I don’t work anymore.”  He is the second former military person I’ve met so far on this trip to tell me that.  Hmm.

Anyway, to call this first class travel is quite a stretch.  The cabin is small, tired looking, but well air-conditioned.  You get better meals at the outdoor markets and shock absorbers (or whatever they use on trains to make them travel more smoothly) are non-existent.  Jean-Claude just kept sarcastically saying, “This is first class.”  Still, it was cheap and manageable.  That was, until Jean-Claude came back from a tour of the one cabin–because apparently you are locked from exploring beyond it–and the toilet.  He said wait until I see the toilet.  I should have suspected something was up when the porter came to tell us not to throw paper in the toilet (and do what with it, then?).

Now, for those who know me and my phobia of public toilets, you can imagine the thoughts running through my head.    I will wait as long as possible to avoid public restrooms.  So I decided to take a stretch and go.  I opened the door and immediately panic set in.  Looking at what was nothing more than a hole with metal around it, this became the most traumatic experience on the trip.  Okay, I exaggerate a bit.  But let’s set the scene here.  A hole.  A shaking bouncing train.  And wetness everywhere.  Now on solid ground, guys sometimes have a hard time aiming properly, let’s be honest.  On this train?   In this closet of a toilet?   Now I realize that part of the uh, charm of much of Asia are the holes in the ground for toilets.  But this is supposed to be first class.  Let’s just say I’m glad I didn’t eat a big meal anytime soon before this 14 hour trip.  While Jean-Claude said he had to take a picture of it, I didn’t for fear I’d start sweating from fear and drop the camera down the hole.

Watching the many seasons of “The Amazing Race,” I laugh at some of the clueless contestants who get lost, turned around, saddled with bad taxi drivers and think to myself, “what idiots they are.  How difficult is it to just look at a map and figure it out?”  I mean, you can plant me somewhere in a city with a map and I can generally figure out how to get from Point A to Point B.  Amazing Racers, I now have more sympathy for you (except for the ugly American bickering couples).  Now I’m not talking about pulling off difficulties like finding clues in rolled up bales of hay, or rappelling down the side of a skyscraper, or shoveling manure to cover potatoes while dressed like a bubushka.  No.  I’m talking about finding something two blocks away!

My day started with a plan.  I had read about a market called Or Tor Kor, which I had read was something to see it with all its exotic food stalls.  I did manage to find it but with great difficulty despite the directions that said just exit the subway and you are in it.  That’s if you exited the right way.  Not the way I exited.  Not only are the exits far apart, they are on opposite sides of major highways.  Took the Skytrain and subway.  Once there, it was a fascinating open market with spices, fishes, meats, produce, baked goods, etc.  This was obviously a market for locals as nothing was in English and no one seemed to know any.  I was the only non-Thai there.  And the place was huge.

Next, it was on to see the Victory Monument in the city, which is not much on the monument scale of, oh, say the Arc de Triomphe or the Washington Monument.  It’s in the middle of a traffic roundabout that you can’t possibly cross and is roped off anyway.

One thing I found quite funny is I was in a store and they were playing hard-core rap.  We’re talking the “f” word, the “n” word, killing, beating.  And all the while the clerks just smile at you. I was so tempted to ask if they even knew what the words were in the song.  But I’m guessing not.

After, some street food and being adventurous.  A lot of things being put into a noodle bowl, some of which I had no idea what they were.  But what the heck.

And to cap off the evening, I went to the rooftop bar of the Banyan Tree Hotel, 61 stories high.  It’s an outdoor rooftop restaurant and bar where you look out the night sky at all of Bangkok.  Beer not cheap but you can’t beat the experience.  Once I found it.

Updated Map:

For my last full day in Sydney, I took the day-long Blue Mountain tour.  I originally planned to do this on Monday, but because of the rain, I put it off.

The tour bus picked my up at the Marriott near the loft at an un-godly 7:20AM.  The driver and tour guide, Michael, was full of information and wit.  He really made it enjoyable and made a couple of detours off the itinerary so we could get the best views of the mountains.  Why called Blue Mountains?  The mist of the eucalyptus trees gives the area a blue tint in the sunlight.  Even though it was kinda overcast, you could still see the bluish tint.

The first stop, however, was at Featherdale Wildlife Park, a zoo with indigenous birds, animals, and reptiles.  I would finally get to see kangaroos and koalas up close.

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What is a visit to Sydney without taking in a show at the Opera House.  There are several theatres in the Opera House, but I figured it would be best to see the Opera Theatre.  One of the current productions is Gilbert and Sullivan’s operetta, The Pirates of Penzance.  Now I guess when a Disney franchise like Pirates of the Caribbean takes in a billion dollars or two or more, there is bound to be some influence on other types of productions.  The actor who played The Pirate King channeled his inner Johnny Depp, but also created a delightful character that was very much his own.  Never having seen this before, I can’t compare it to past production.  And given there are over 100 years worth, there are plenty to which to compare.  But it was certainly an enjoyable evening and worth having gone.

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